social spark Aisling Beatha: Sleeping With Bread

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Monday, April 02, 2007

Sleeping With Bread

Huh? Sleeping with Bread? Shouldn't this be on the food and fitness blog?

NOPE! Read on, this is a post all about looking back on the last period of time. It's from the blog of a lady called Mary Lue.
The examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to Him for solace for the bad stuff. This is not an excuse to bash people involved in the bad stuff, just an opportunity to turn the good and the bad over to Him, say "THANK YOU" for the good stuff and "HELP, I cannot do this on my own" about the bad stuff.

It is quite simple. You simply ask yourself, in the last day/week/month what gave me consolation and what caused me desolation. You can also phrase the question in any of the following ways:

For what am I most grateful? Least grateful?
When did I give and receive the most love? The least love?
When did I feel most alive? Most drained of life?
When did I have the greatest sense of belonging? Least sense of belonging?
When was I most free? Least free?
When was I most creative? Least creative?
When did I feel most connected? Least connected?
When did I feel most fully myself? Least myself?
When did I feel most whole? Most fragmented?

This is my first ever Sleeping With Bread Post. For an explanation of why it is called living with bread, follow that link and check out Mary Lue's Sleeping With Bread blog.
In the future I won't put all that blurb up there to explain it, I'll just head on in to my explanation. You don't have to answer all of them every week, you can choose which and for what period of time!

I wonder if I can do them all today for my inaugural post.
For what am I most grateful? Least grateful?
Right now I am most grateful for the youth event at church this week. It means that my two boys are being kept very busy and hubby and I are getting some unexpected time on our own. I am least grateful. I am least grateful for my tail bone! It has been causing me pain. I received prayer for healing yesterday and will continue to do so, but some days it just drags me down, not being able to get comfortable and therefore relax.

When did I give and receive the most love? The least love?
Hmmm? When did I give and receive the most love? I've been surprised by my 15 year old wanting more hugs than usual, he's actually been coming and asking for them, that has been really nice. The least love, would actually be the same child. He has been struggling with his attitude for a good couple of weeks. I know that this is natural and a normal part of growing up, but I wish I could deal with it better.

When did I feel most alive? Most drained of life?
Most alive? Worship! On Sunday morning, standing with God's people, and singing praise to out God. Most drained? I know what the answer is, but I won't post publicly!

When did I have the greatest sense of belonging? Least sense of belonging?
Last Wednesday, praying with two good friends, one of whom attends our church and one who doesn't. Least belonging? Probably when one of the church trustees said she needed to speak to me about my contract. Nothing like reminding you you are an employee to lose your grip on a sense of belonging in a church.

When was I most free? Least free?
Hmmmmm, I think I was most free the last 24 hours, because my boys are being kept busy at a church youth event at all hours of the day, I have very little ferrying them around to do, certainly no school run trips and can pretty much set my won schedule. That has been nice! Least free? Something I already mentioned, when cornered by one of the trustees at church to say they need to talk to me about my contract. Just reminded me enough that the financial stability that this job provides could be pulled out from under our feet any time they chose to do so.

When was I most creative? Least creative?
It hasn't been a particularly creative week at all, so I guess that answers the least, and most? Today I guess. We had our weekly paper craft club at church, and i made perhaps half a dozen cards. I am looking forward to Thursday next week though. It's craft day on QVC for the UK. I probably won't buy anything, but I will use it as an excuse to sit in front of the TV ALL DAY, with craft materials ALL OVER the living room, and appropriate TV snacks and drinks surrounding me! OH YES! That will be a creative day! Hmmm, maybe I should make it into a blog post!

When did I feel most connected? Least connected?
TODAY! I had the opportunity to speak, albeit briefly, to someone who I have been struggling with, in my head. We didn't discuss that, but it was good to have a conversation with her, where we were on the same page, had the same heart in the situation we were discussing and I most certainly was not being got at or blamed (which is what my fears had been telling me).

When did I feel most fully myself? Least myself?
Can't answer this, really can't. I think I have lost touch with who I am again. Not completely, I mean, I KNOW who God says I am, but all the rest of it, what do I like, what am I good at, who do I relate to, how do I relate to them, all of that has to be answered with a "well, I THINK . . . " or an honest, "I don't really know". Don't worry about me though, I am sure God is on the case.

When did I feel most whole? Most fragmented?
A lot of these questions are very similar, hence part of my reasoning for in future only answering a few at a time. So, how do I differentiate between this and some of the other questions. . . . hmmmmm? I felt most whole today, walking away from that conversation, knowing that in the thing we discussed, I and the other person were on the same page. I feel most fragmented when I allow the stresses of a particular situation to get to me and allow the enemies lies about it to seep into my heart. I can't really say more than that.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing such personal answers. What a good way to reflect on God's goodness and a good way to ask for God's help.

    ReplyDelete
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