51.Am I kind to myself?
I could do better. Especially with this sleep apnoea. I could go LIE DOWN at the first sign of needing a nap and not put myself through falling asleep sat here at the computer desk. Did I ever mention that I keep biting my tongue when I do that. OUCH!
I could do better. Especially with this sleep apnoea. I could go LIE DOWN at the first sign of needing a nap and not put myself through falling asleep sat here at the computer desk. Did I ever mention that I keep biting my tongue when I do that. OUCH!
52.Am I kind to others?
Hmmm, I wonder what Kindness really is. Let's look up a definition:
Hmmm, I wonder what Kindness really is. Let's look up a definition:
- kindness - the quality of being warmhearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic
- kindness - forgivingness: tendency to be kind and forgiving
- kindness - a kind act
53.Do I take things for granted?
Yes. Without a doubt. Consider having a car and being able to go wherever I wanted, whenever i wanted to, and at no IMMEDIATE cost. Yes, I know the fuel costs and there's repairs and maintenance, BUT I'm talking about needing to have cash, right there in your hand. It's only when that gets taken away from you and you find yourself having to budget that you have to answer questions like "can I afford to go here? If i go to this place, I won't have enough money to go to that one day after." and so on. And having to answer questions like JUST TO GET A BUS TO THE LOCAL SUPERMARKET, or to the doctors or to church, or whatever.
Yes. Without a doubt. Consider having a car and being able to go wherever I wanted, whenever i wanted to, and at no IMMEDIATE cost. Yes, I know the fuel costs and there's repairs and maintenance, BUT I'm talking about needing to have cash, right there in your hand. It's only when that gets taken away from you and you find yourself having to budget that you have to answer questions like "can I afford to go here? If i go to this place, I won't have enough money to go to that one day after." and so on. And having to answer questions like JUST TO GET A BUS TO THE LOCAL SUPERMARKET, or to the doctors or to church, or whatever.
54.Am I doing what matters most right now?
NO. I want to, I really want to, but I can't seem to focus, can't seem to "connect".
NO. I want to, I really want to, but I can't seem to focus, can't seem to "connect".
55.Is there an area in my life that needs more attention?
I do need to focus on my health for a while, but actually my spiritual life needs focus. I need to connect with Father God and let him speak.
I do need to focus on my health for a while, but actually my spiritual life needs focus. I need to connect with Father God and let him speak.
56.Do I make the best use of my time?
Sometimes sleeping IS the best use of our time, and when you physically have no choice, well. . . Also I think I do spend too much time on the computer, and sometimes use it to avoid doing other things, to avoid having to think about other things,
Sometimes sleeping IS the best use of our time, and when you physically have no choice, well. . . Also I think I do spend too much time on the computer, and sometimes use it to avoid doing other things, to avoid having to think about other things,
57.What can I do right now that would make the biggest difference in my life?
Get before God and stay there! Not in order to read, not in order to learn, just to BE!
58.What am I avoiding?
I am avoiding sitting before God. I don't know what to say, I don't know what He wants of me right now, and I'm being awkward and eugh.
I am avoiding sitting before God. I don't know what to say, I don't know what He wants of me right now, and I'm being awkward and eugh.
59.What am I tolerating/putting up with?
This stupid condition called Sleep apnoea. It needs to GO! I don't want to have to put up with it, I want ti GONE, to have treatment in place, be able to lose some of the weight, lessen the symptoms, even have the tonsils taken out and lessen symptoms more so can have even more energy and lose even more weight.
This stupid condition called Sleep apnoea. It needs to GO! I don't want to have to put up with it, I want ti GONE, to have treatment in place, be able to lose some of the weight, lessen the symptoms, even have the tonsils taken out and lessen symptoms more so can have even more energy and lose even more weight.
60.Do I have specific, measurable goals with clear deadlines?
NO! And that's the problem. My job description in my current job provides little definition of specific goals. And I'm not sure what my goals are, what they should be. Again I say I need to sit down with someone I trust and spend time, talking and praying and eating! The eating part of that is very important, heehee! I think the talking and praying go better if there is eating!
61.Do I keep the promises I make to myself?
I don't know. I think I try and refrain from making them.
I don't know. I think I try and refrain from making them.
62.Do I keep the promises I make to others?
On the whole I think so. I'm related to someone who, however well meaning makes extravagant promises, or even simple promises but doesn't follow through. I'm used to that now and so are my kids. That hurts, that they are used it to it, that this person will make a promise and they will just look at me as if to say "We KNOW, it's not going to happen is it".
Because I know how that has made me feel in the past and because I see what it does to the boys I really try to keep my promises to others. Having said that of course, my fluctuating energy levels and slightly altered memory with the sleep apnoea means I don't always manage to do what I had fully intended to do when I had intended to do it.
On the whole I think so. I'm related to someone who, however well meaning makes extravagant promises, or even simple promises but doesn't follow through. I'm used to that now and so are my kids. That hurts, that they are used it to it, that this person will make a promise and they will just look at me as if to say "We KNOW, it's not going to happen is it".
Because I know how that has made me feel in the past and because I see what it does to the boys I really try to keep my promises to others. Having said that of course, my fluctuating energy levels and slightly altered memory with the sleep apnoea means I don't always manage to do what I had fully intended to do when I had intended to do it.
63.For my life to be perfect, what would have to change?
I can't have a perfect life. I live and imperfect life on an imperfect earth, surrounded my imperfect people. And I am right where god wants me to be. How could I ask to change that?
64.What am I most looking forward to right now?
my BIRTHDAY and CPAP machine collection (on the same day).
And then, of course
My eventual trip to America! Oh YES. I am going. No one can stop me, bit by bit by bit the money comes in, a Christmas gift here, a birthday gift there, every paid blog post I do, and so on an on. We WILL get there eventually!
And then, of course
My eventual trip to America! Oh YES. I am going. No one can stop me, bit by bit by bit the money comes in, a Christmas gift here, a birthday gift there, every paid blog post I do, and so on an on. We WILL get there eventually!
65.What activities do I perform that give me the least joy? Do they really need doing? Can I delegate or pay someone else to do them?
Washing Dishes makes my back hurt, I HATE doing it, hate it with a passion! BUT I have tried getting hubby to take responsibility for it. In fact for years we have had an official agreement whereby that is his chore. There is nothing else that I regularly ask of him but that, and regularly, more often than not in fact he just doesn't do it.
I've tried getting the boys to do it, but they just fight and argue and moan about whose "turn" it is to do what and end up doing it so badly that half of it has to be done again!
I hate ironing, but basically just don't do it, shirts are hung on hangers as soon as they come out of the washing machine and only need ironing if it is for a very special occasion. I refuse to iron bed linens or underwear, and most of my clothes are "hang and dry" as well!
The remaining chore I hate is vacuuming. Hmmm Absolutely needs doing, rather desperately right now, the carpets are filthy, but I can never get people to pick their stuff up off the floor in order to do the vacuuming. It's not really a job I could pay for someone to do, although I have thought about paying someone to come in and wash the carpets once a year.
I've tried getting the boys to do it, but they just fight and argue and moan about whose "turn" it is to do what and end up doing it so badly that half of it has to be done again!
I hate ironing, but basically just don't do it, shirts are hung on hangers as soon as they come out of the washing machine and only need ironing if it is for a very special occasion. I refuse to iron bed linens or underwear, and most of my clothes are "hang and dry" as well!
The remaining chore I hate is vacuuming. Hmmm Absolutely needs doing, rather desperately right now, the carpets are filthy, but I can never get people to pick their stuff up off the floor in order to do the vacuuming. It's not really a job I could pay for someone to do, although I have thought about paying someone to come in and wash the carpets once a year.
66.How can I simplify my life?
Well, I took car driving out of it, heeheee, surely that will do for now. And you know what, I was reading somewhere the other day that actually simplifying means different things for different people and that is OK. If it simplifies your life to order all your groceries online, do it, and if ti simplifies your life to go to the farmers market and choose all local produce, yourself, then do it.
67.Do I see myself as a creative person?
I like to think I am creative but maybe not original in my creativity. Yeah, I like that description.
I like to think I am creative but maybe not original in my creativity. Yeah, I like that description.
68.Do I allow myself to be creative?
I don't give myself enough time, space and freedom to do so no. I kind of treat it as second class activity and that all other things must be complete before I can be creative.
I don't give myself enough time, space and freedom to do so no. I kind of treat it as second class activity and that all other things must be complete before I can be creative.
69.Can I be spontaneous?
Yes, I CAN be spontaneous. I can drop everything at a moments notice and do something else. I can change plans to do something else that needs doing more.
Yes, I CAN be spontaneous. I can drop everything at a moments notice and do something else. I can change plans to do something else that needs doing more.
70.Am I too critical of myself?
I don't know.
I don't know.
71.Am I too critical of others?
Yes, On the whole, yes I am.
Yes, On the whole, yes I am.
72.Do I look at problems from several different angles and perspectives?
Absolutely I really do try to do this. It is certainly not my IMMEDIATE reaction to a situation, don't get me wrong, but when I've had time to think, I really to try and do this.
73.What have I accomplished?
I have laid seeds of Gods love and his Word and his plans in the hearts of dozens of children through teaching Sunday's Cool. I have made a long term difference in the lives of hundreds of children overseas through Operation Christmas child. I have let go of past hurts and pains and allowed God to do a deep work in me, especially this last 12 months.
74.What are the major sources of stress in my life?
My teenagers and their attitudes towards me and each other, and their rooms.
My teenagers and their attitudes towards me and each other, and their rooms.
75.How can I reduce stress in my life?
let go and let God!
Final part still to come!
let go and let God!
Final part still to come!
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