social spark Aisling Beatha: How Do You Deal With Stress


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Wednesday, September 06, 2017

How Do You Deal With Stress

Today’s Nudge: What really stresses you out, and how to do take care of yourself when you’re in the midst of *waves at all that*.

What stresses you out?
When things happen to my loved ones it stresses me out far more than when things happen to me.  I think it's that when something happens to me, I have some level of control, even if that is only over HOW I RESPOND to that situation.

But when something happens to my  loved ones, I feel it just as deeply, but now I can't control it, I can't fix things for them, I can't take these struggles away, and sometimes I feel like there is nothing I can do to even help.

It's not that I think I am helpless and hopeless, but sometimes in certain situations, that's how I FEEL.  Watching my son deal with his chronic conditions and how that has affected his studies, watching my mom spend over 100 days in ICU (over a decade ago now, and she passed away a couple of months after coming out of ICU), watching my older son love his job but not be treated reasonably by the team there, watching my dad deteriorate, fight back, only to cycle through those two for months and months before he passed away 4 years ago, and so on through to smaller less stressful situations.

How have you dealt with stress?

I'll be honest that often in the past I have done everything I can to avoid dealing with stress and to hide from it.  I have eaten my emotions and stuffed my face.  I have sat in front of the computer, aimlessly surfing from one website to another to another.  I have avoided my journal like crazy because I don't want to acknowledge what is going on or how I am feeling.

Those are not working for me, not long term, they are not helping me and some of them are destructive too, but I am doing better at the moment.

While no one is in deep crisis right now, these last few weeks have not been without their stresses.  Our eldest son has been forced into a house move with no one nearby to help him move his stuff and youngest facing a far more ridiculous battle than you would ever expect to turn his student bank account into a post graduate student account rather than a graduate account.

What should have been a simple process involving one phone call and a couple of days wait, turned into a 3 week battle, involving multiple phone calls and having to visit a branch 45 minutes away because the local one couldn't see him for another 4 weeks!  It finally got sorted this morning as I started to write this post.

How do you deal with stress?

What do I do now?  Or at least what do I try to do?
  • I am trying to eat well despite the recent stresses, and not letting them derail me from my current goals health-wise.
  • I am swimming some days, and walking some others.
  • I am listening to daily prayers and meditations from Pray as You Go via an app on my phone. On the days I swim, I put my headphones in as I walk back to the bus stop to head home and listen on that 18 minute walk.
  • I also try to listen to some mindfulness sessions from Smiling Mind, also via an app on my phone.  If you think you'd like an Australian accent with your mindfulness meditations, that's one to check out and it's all free, both the website and the app.
  • I'm journaling.  Not every day, but enough that the deep stresses get written out.
  • I am learning that what works for others in de-stressing doesn't necessarily work for me and THAT'S OK.
  • I am still spending more time than I should at the computer, but not as much as I was and at least now a lot of that time is purposeful, planning healthy meals and writing blogs.
So how do you deal with stress?  How do you go from the frog at the top of the post to the one below?

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  1. Lovely post. I'm sorry for all your stress stuff. I, too, seem to react more strongly to other people's stress than I do my own. I breathe, journal, fling paint, do dishes. Doing dishes is sooooooo meditative for me. I know that's weird. :D

    1. Nope that's definitely not one that has ever come into my list. GRIN


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